Divorce is a difficult process for everyone involved. It can be especially hard on children, who may not understand what is happening and why their parents are no longer together. As a parent or guardian, it is important that you take the time to talk to your kids about divorce.

At The Ohiku Law Office, Divorce Attorneys Odalo Ohiku and Felicia Owen have decades of experience helping families through the divorce process. Learn more about our services, including divorce law and child custody/placement, and keep reading for strategies for helping your children through this tough time.

Plan Out the Conversation in Advance

It is important to think about what you want to say before you have a divorce conversation with your kids. Try to anticipate their questions and have answers ready. If at all possible, plan the conversation with your spouse/partner to ensure you are both on the same page.

Choose the Best Time

When you sit down to talk to your kids, make sure it is at a time when they are not hungry or tired. It may be best to have the conversation on a day when they don’t have to leave your home to go to school, to a friend’s house, or somewhere else. They may want you around in case they have questions or big emotions they need help processing. Also, be sure to allow enough time for the conversation; rushing through it will only make things more difficult.

Avoid Blaming Your Partner or Child

One of the most important things to remember when talking to your kids about divorce is to avoid placing blame. This will only make them feel more insecure and could damage your relationship with them. When going through a divorce, it is important to remember that your children are watching you and how you react. If you are angry or resentful towards your former spouse, your children will likely pick up on this negative energy. It is crucial that you try to avoid putting blame on either yourself or your partner during the conversation.

Listen More Than You Talk

It is important that you take the time to listen to your kids during this conversation. They may have a lot of questions or concerns that they want to express. By listening, you can help them feel heard and understood.

Answer the Questions They Ask

As your kids are talking, they will likely have questions for you. It is important that you answer these questions as honestly as possible. If you do not know the answer to a question, be honest and tell them that you don’t know but you will try to find out. Also be sure to answer the specific question/s they are asking, rather than answering a question you wish they would ask or think they should ask.

Be Gentle with Yourself

Remember that it is okay to not have all the answers. Divorce is a confusing and difficult time for everyone involved, and it is important to give your children the space to express their own emotions. Listen more than you talk, and be there for them when they need to talk or just need a hug.

No one ever wants to think about divorce, but it happens all the time. In fact, according to the most recent statistics from the United States Census Bureau, nearly half of all marriages in this country will end in divorce. If you are a parent or guardian who is facing this difficult situation, you may be wondering how to talk to your kids about it. It can be hard to know what to say and how to say it – after all, you don’t want to make things worse for them. But it is important for children to understand what is happening in their family, and they deserve honest answers from their parents or guardians.

If you need assistance with any legal aspects of your divorce, our team at The Ohiku Law Office can help. We understand how difficult this time can be, and we are here to help you every step of the way. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.